South Africa

So here it is. The beginning of a new journey. This time last year I returned home from the most amazing experience of my life. Coming home was the most difficult thing I have ever done. The moment I returned, reality hit me like a brick. And believe me, it hurt! It feels like I am only just starting to get my life together and now I am getting ready to take off again. The truth is, I am nervous. I planned and saved for America for four years. This time round I only have three months to save for flights, vaccinations, visas, food, a months worth of travel... The list goes on. On top of that, South Africa is so different to America. Yet, I know that I need to do this. Despite all the unknown, all my doubts, all my fears I know this is where my path is leading me. My last blog ended with one very important question. Next Chapter? Well I believe I have finally answered that question. South Africa.

Day by Day

Lost for words, not sure what to say

Living my life, day by day

It all feels so wrong, like something’s missing

Where’s the person, I discovered while traveling

I explored, I laughed, I loved and I cried,

I learnt, I taught, I experienced and tried,

But now I’m back home and I’m stuck in a rut,

Alone, abandoned, broken and cut

Everything’s different, the change is extreme

I feel invisible, un-heard of, unseen

In America I was someone, an inspiration to all,

But here I’m just average, just Aimee, that’s all

Where’s the spark that I ignited abroad

That feeling I discovered, where I almost soared

I wish life was simple, that I could be free

But here at home, I’m bound by reality

I question my friends, and if they truly care

I ponder my future, and blankly stare

I just want to travel, and see the world

One dream, one vision, one journey, one girl

But I guess for now, I have to be patient

My day will come, it will all make sense

Until then though, I’ll continue to stay

Living my life, day by day

Next Chapter?

At the moment I feel lost. Lost for words, lost for action. I have no idea where to begin. I'm in so much pain both physically and emotionally. The Doctors think I may have pneumonia. I can't think, can't move, can't do anything. It's great to see my family again but I feel alone. Two of my friends are in South Australia and the rest have moved on with their own lives. It's like I am frozen in time while I'm watching the rest of the world pass me by. I don't know where to go or who to turn to or simply, how to begin this healing process. I just experienced the trip of a life time. I laughed. I cried. I loved. I experienced. I learnt. But most of all I discovered a whole new side to myself. A side no one back home has met and now that I have returned, I am fighting harder than ever to keep that side of me. To ensure that no one puts me back inside that box I spent so much of my life in... It's difficult for people to understand the way I am feeling right now because I myself am struggling to understand. My body has shut down but my mind is still going 100 kilomoters per hour. I want to go out and see my friends, I want to return to work, I want to return to life but I just can't. How can I return to a normal life after such an extraordinary experience. Every step I take forward seems to be followed by ten steps backward. Every time I think I am feeling better, something shouts "Just kidding" and the pain starts all over again. I've contacted my friends but they are all so busy and who can blame them?

 

Don't get me wrong. I don't feel sorry for myself. I knew that this day would come. I knew it was going to be difficult to return to reality after such a life changing journey. The truth is, I glady accept these feelings because I know they only exist solely because I have experienced something most people my age could never imagine. Right now I am at a fragile point where I am faced with a decision. A complicated decision. To return to living life the way I used to, or to take on a new chapter of my life.Yes my trip may have ended but my journey still continues... Next chapter?

San Diego

San Diego, so much to see, so much to experience. I spent the last four days in San Diego and feel like I could have spent another 40. I stayed in a hostel called the Banana Bungalow, located right on the beach. There is something special about the Banana Bungalow. Something I can't quite put my finger on. The bungalow has clearly become home to many different people from across the world, one of whom is me. From the day I arrived people kept telling me that I would extend my stay and I laughed because at the time that seemed out of the picture. Three days was more than enough wasn't it?

There's something special about the Bungalow though. While you're there everyone becomes your family. It doesn't matter who you are, where your from or what your background is. You're all there for the same purpose and for that reason, everyone fits in. I loved the company of the individuals I was with and I even ended up extending my stay. Who would have guessed? It was honestly just the ultimate location and experience. I met some amazing people, visited Sea World, San Diego zoo, had a nice beach day, had some wild nights, got to go paddle boarding, visisted Balboa Park, and La Jolla.

The ultimate combination

Eight days left and I am exhausted both physically and mentally. My body and brain are just about to shut down and yet, I still have so much more to see. The truth is though, I just want to come home. This little traveler admits that she is home sick and ready to clip her wings for a while. The worst part is that I know I'm going to get home and just want travel again.... I just can't win. I guess the best thing to do is just to distract myself and that's exactly what I am doing. 

Today I spent the day in in Universal Studios and it was absolutely mind blowing. The whole time I kept wishing my brother's were there as I learnt more and more about the magic and magnificence behind film making. The film world is a whole other world where anything can happen. You find yourself caught between a great battle between King Kong and a T-Rex or under the attack of jaws the giant man eating shark. For once I could see things through my brother's eyes and really understand why they love film making so much.

The rides in universal were incredible. They combined the thrill that you get from a regular ride, with the 4D world of film, creating the ultimate experience. It feels so real. You feel the heat from a missile as it flies past your face, experience the rumble of each explosion and each second of the ride is exhilarating. Something is happening in every direction. It's amazing what you can create when you combine both worlds and I am so thrilled to have experienced it.

Happy 100th anniversary Universal Studios.

Magic

So I just spent the last two days in Disneyland, the happiest place on earth. Let me paint a picture for you shall I? 

You arrive early for magic hour (Where only a few select people get to enjoy Disney before it opens to the general public). The crowd goes wild with excitement and anticipation as they count down the seconds till the gates to Disney open. From outside you can vaguely see the inside of Disney. It's big, it's beautiful, it's everything you imagined and more. When the crowd counts down to zero, the gates open and the workers shout, "Let the magic begin." And so it does. You enter the gates, and immediately your senses are overwhelmed. It's humongous. It doesn't look that big on the map. Children are screaming with excitement. Parents are running around wildly after there kids. And there's you. Right in the midst of it all. Yes that's right, you're in Disneyland.

You look at the map trying to gather your bearings and plan out where to start but then you tuck your map away and start walking. Your not sure where but something pulls you. All of a sudden your a kid again. Your looking up in amazement and pointing in all different directions. Your laughing with pure joy at all the Disney characters surrounding you. Your high fiving the worker wearing the Micky Mouse glove and your scaling the stairs of sleeping beauty's castle. All your child hood fantasies have come true and you couldn't feel more alive.

Disneyland was an amazing experience. From riding in submarines to reliving all my favourite childhood movies, it was an extremely moving experience. To see families having the time of their lives (minus that child who has been to Disney one too many times) and witness the utter and pure joy on every child's face is truly beautiful. After my experience during my first night in Anaheim, it really restored my faith in humanity. I watched as some actors did a performance of how Disneyland was created and it all started with one man and his dream. Well that's all it takes folks. One person and their dream. That's where I begun and look where I am now. Nearing the end of a 4 and a half month journey on the other side of the world. We should never underestimate how powerful a dream can be. Take Martin Luther King for example. Your dream may just possibly be the start of a brighter future. 

Breaking point

Today was an absolutely horrifying experience. I made my way to Anaheim via the Greyhound bus but things did not go to plan. The Greyhound was running 45 minutes late meaning I missed the next two buses I had organised to transport me to my hotel. When I arrived in Anaheim I made my way to the bus stop where I waited for half an hour for my first bus. As I waited it begun to become clear that I was not in a safe neighbourhood. A man approached me and told me that he had been watching me earlier. He insisted that I hop in his car and he would show me the way. I however continued to inform him that I knew exactly where I was going and I did not need his help. Much to his discrepancy he eventually left, leaving me with the daunting reality that I was not safe. The truth is, I was lost. Lost and scared.

As I sat there waiting for my bus, people were looking at me from every angle like they knew exactly what I was thinking. When the bus finally arrived I was filled with relief but a feeling of dread soon followed as I realised that I was still yet to catch another bus. When I reached my next stop there were people at the bus stop so I felt a lot safer. The bus arrived about 45 minutes later and by this time it was getting very late and I was wishing I had just bitten the bullet and got a taxi. When I informed the bus driver of where I had to go he told me that he knew exactly where that was and he'd shout at when we arrived. Half an hour later, staring at my map in confusion it had become very clear that I had gone way too far. 4 miles too far to be exact. The bus driver apolagised as he had misunderstood my location but there was nothing I could do. I had to get off the bus and by this time there was no more buses running. 

Thinking back to it now, I can think of so many things I should have done but at the time I was sick and it was extremely difficult to get out a clear thought. All I knew was that I needed a taxi and I needed it now. Trembling with fear I tried to contain myself as I walked into a store to ask the number for a taxi. Five stores later I had been yelled at and verbally abused by every shop keeper as they all refused to tell me the number of a taxi company. Stressed out and exhausted both physically and mentally I made my way to a super market in the distance walking past a large group of guys on the way. Let's recount shall we? I'm alone, I'm lost, I stand out like a sore thumb, I'm sick and I'm trembling with fear. And to make things worse, just a few hours ago I had read an article about a girl who was raped and murdered while walking home alone. You can't possibly imagine what it feels like to be in a situation like that unless you have experienced it yourself. Every one seems suspicious and you begin to question who you can trust. What if the security guard is dodgy? What if the police officers are just as bad. Thank God for me, I was on the phone to Adam the whole time who talked me through things and helped me through the whole situation. Eventually I made it to the supermarket where I was able to get a taxi to my hotel.  I guess though, that's what life is all about. Making mistakes and enduring crazy experiences so that you can learn from them. I have certainly learnt from mine.

Thank God I am safe.