Day by Day

Lost for words, not sure what to say

Living my life, day by day

It all feels so wrong, like something’s missing

Where’s the person, I discovered while traveling

I explored, I laughed, I loved and I cried,

I learnt, I taught, I experienced and tried,

But now I’m back home and I’m stuck in a rut,

Alone, abandoned, broken and cut

Everything’s different, the change is extreme

I feel invisible, un-heard of, unseen

In America I was someone, an inspiration to all,

But here I’m just average, just Aimee, that’s all

Where’s the spark that I ignited abroad

That feeling I discovered, where I almost soared

I wish life was simple, that I could be free

But here at home, I’m bound by reality

I question my friends, and if they truly care

I ponder my future, and blankly stare

I just want to travel, and see the world

One dream, one vision, one journey, one girl

But I guess for now, I have to be patient

My day will come, it will all make sense

Until then though, I’ll continue to stay

Living my life, day by day

Next Chapter?

At the moment I feel lost. Lost for words, lost for action. I have no idea where to begin. I'm in so much pain both physically and emotionally. The Doctors think I may have pneumonia. I can't think, can't move, can't do anything. It's great to see my family again but I feel alone. Two of my friends are in South Australia and the rest have moved on with their own lives. It's like I am frozen in time while I'm watching the rest of the world pass me by. I don't know where to go or who to turn to or simply, how to begin this healing process. I just experienced the trip of a life time. I laughed. I cried. I loved. I experienced. I learnt. But most of all I discovered a whole new side to myself. A side no one back home has met and now that I have returned, I am fighting harder than ever to keep that side of me. To ensure that no one puts me back inside that box I spent so much of my life in... It's difficult for people to understand the way I am feeling right now because I myself am struggling to understand. My body has shut down but my mind is still going 100 kilomoters per hour. I want to go out and see my friends, I want to return to work, I want to return to life but I just can't. How can I return to a normal life after such an extraordinary experience. Every step I take forward seems to be followed by ten steps backward. Every time I think I am feeling better, something shouts "Just kidding" and the pain starts all over again. I've contacted my friends but they are all so busy and who can blame them?

 

Don't get me wrong. I don't feel sorry for myself. I knew that this day would come. I knew it was going to be difficult to return to reality after such a life changing journey. The truth is, I glady accept these feelings because I know they only exist solely because I have experienced something most people my age could never imagine. Right now I am at a fragile point where I am faced with a decision. A complicated decision. To return to living life the way I used to, or to take on a new chapter of my life.Yes my trip may have ended but my journey still continues... Next chapter?

San Diego

San Diego, so much to see, so much to experience. I spent the last four days in San Diego and feel like I could have spent another 40. I stayed in a hostel called the Banana Bungalow, located right on the beach. There is something special about the Banana Bungalow. Something I can't quite put my finger on. The bungalow has clearly become home to many different people from across the world, one of whom is me. From the day I arrived people kept telling me that I would extend my stay and I laughed because at the time that seemed out of the picture. Three days was more than enough wasn't it?

There's something special about the Bungalow though. While you're there everyone becomes your family. It doesn't matter who you are, where your from or what your background is. You're all there for the same purpose and for that reason, everyone fits in. I loved the company of the individuals I was with and I even ended up extending my stay. Who would have guessed? It was honestly just the ultimate location and experience. I met some amazing people, visited Sea World, San Diego zoo, had a nice beach day, had some wild nights, got to go paddle boarding, visisted Balboa Park, and La Jolla.

The ultimate combination

Eight days left and I am exhausted both physically and mentally. My body and brain are just about to shut down and yet, I still have so much more to see. The truth is though, I just want to come home. This little traveler admits that she is home sick and ready to clip her wings for a while. The worst part is that I know I'm going to get home and just want travel again.... I just can't win. I guess the best thing to do is just to distract myself and that's exactly what I am doing. 

Today I spent the day in in Universal Studios and it was absolutely mind blowing. The whole time I kept wishing my brother's were there as I learnt more and more about the magic and magnificence behind film making. The film world is a whole other world where anything can happen. You find yourself caught between a great battle between King Kong and a T-Rex or under the attack of jaws the giant man eating shark. For once I could see things through my brother's eyes and really understand why they love film making so much.

The rides in universal were incredible. They combined the thrill that you get from a regular ride, with the 4D world of film, creating the ultimate experience. It feels so real. You feel the heat from a missile as it flies past your face, experience the rumble of each explosion and each second of the ride is exhilarating. Something is happening in every direction. It's amazing what you can create when you combine both worlds and I am so thrilled to have experienced it.

Happy 100th anniversary Universal Studios.

Magic

So I just spent the last two days in Disneyland, the happiest place on earth. Let me paint a picture for you shall I? 

You arrive early for magic hour (Where only a few select people get to enjoy Disney before it opens to the general public). The crowd goes wild with excitement and anticipation as they count down the seconds till the gates to Disney open. From outside you can vaguely see the inside of Disney. It's big, it's beautiful, it's everything you imagined and more. When the crowd counts down to zero, the gates open and the workers shout, "Let the magic begin." And so it does. You enter the gates, and immediately your senses are overwhelmed. It's humongous. It doesn't look that big on the map. Children are screaming with excitement. Parents are running around wildly after there kids. And there's you. Right in the midst of it all. Yes that's right, you're in Disneyland.

You look at the map trying to gather your bearings and plan out where to start but then you tuck your map away and start walking. Your not sure where but something pulls you. All of a sudden your a kid again. Your looking up in amazement and pointing in all different directions. Your laughing with pure joy at all the Disney characters surrounding you. Your high fiving the worker wearing the Micky Mouse glove and your scaling the stairs of sleeping beauty's castle. All your child hood fantasies have come true and you couldn't feel more alive.

Disneyland was an amazing experience. From riding in submarines to reliving all my favourite childhood movies, it was an extremely moving experience. To see families having the time of their lives (minus that child who has been to Disney one too many times) and witness the utter and pure joy on every child's face is truly beautiful. After my experience during my first night in Anaheim, it really restored my faith in humanity. I watched as some actors did a performance of how Disneyland was created and it all started with one man and his dream. Well that's all it takes folks. One person and their dream. That's where I begun and look where I am now. Nearing the end of a 4 and a half month journey on the other side of the world. We should never underestimate how powerful a dream can be. Take Martin Luther King for example. Your dream may just possibly be the start of a brighter future. 

Breaking point

Today was an absolutely horrifying experience. I made my way to Anaheim via the Greyhound bus but things did not go to plan. The Greyhound was running 45 minutes late meaning I missed the next two buses I had organised to transport me to my hotel. When I arrived in Anaheim I made my way to the bus stop where I waited for half an hour for my first bus. As I waited it begun to become clear that I was not in a safe neighbourhood. A man approached me and told me that he had been watching me earlier. He insisted that I hop in his car and he would show me the way. I however continued to inform him that I knew exactly where I was going and I did not need his help. Much to his discrepancy he eventually left, leaving me with the daunting reality that I was not safe. The truth is, I was lost. Lost and scared.

As I sat there waiting for my bus, people were looking at me from every angle like they knew exactly what I was thinking. When the bus finally arrived I was filled with relief but a feeling of dread soon followed as I realised that I was still yet to catch another bus. When I reached my next stop there were people at the bus stop so I felt a lot safer. The bus arrived about 45 minutes later and by this time it was getting very late and I was wishing I had just bitten the bullet and got a taxi. When I informed the bus driver of where I had to go he told me that he knew exactly where that was and he'd shout at when we arrived. Half an hour later, staring at my map in confusion it had become very clear that I had gone way too far. 4 miles too far to be exact. The bus driver apolagised as he had misunderstood my location but there was nothing I could do. I had to get off the bus and by this time there was no more buses running. 

Thinking back to it now, I can think of so many things I should have done but at the time I was sick and it was extremely difficult to get out a clear thought. All I knew was that I needed a taxi and I needed it now. Trembling with fear I tried to contain myself as I walked into a store to ask the number for a taxi. Five stores later I had been yelled at and verbally abused by every shop keeper as they all refused to tell me the number of a taxi company. Stressed out and exhausted both physically and mentally I made my way to a super market in the distance walking past a large group of guys on the way. Let's recount shall we? I'm alone, I'm lost, I stand out like a sore thumb, I'm sick and I'm trembling with fear. And to make things worse, just a few hours ago I had read an article about a girl who was raped and murdered while walking home alone. You can't possibly imagine what it feels like to be in a situation like that unless you have experienced it yourself. Every one seems suspicious and you begin to question who you can trust. What if the security guard is dodgy? What if the police officers are just as bad. Thank God for me, I was on the phone to Adam the whole time who talked me through things and helped me through the whole situation. Eventually I made it to the supermarket where I was able to get a taxi to my hotel.  I guess though, that's what life is all about. Making mistakes and enduring crazy experiences so that you can learn from them. I have certainly learnt from mine.

Thank God I am safe. 

A girl just needs her mummy

sick sick sick, what a horrible miserable thing. If I wasn't sick I'd be running a muck but I'm sick, sick, sick. So I was up all night hallucinating and I feel like I swallowed a blender. Why body could you not have waited? At times like this a girl just needs her mummy.

San Francisco

San Francisco is amazing! The first day we arrived we were blessed enough to see a very rare site; the golden gate bridge on a day where it’s not hidden by fog. The day was so clear that we could see the moon. It was truly magnificent. After that we headed down to Fisherman’s Warf and more specifically Pier 39 which is famous for its sea lion attraction. We then headed up to Lombard street, the steepest street in the world. San Francisco is amazing and there is so much to see. Since being in San Francisco I have finally discovered and decided that I am indeed capable of traveling alone. I have spent the last three days navigating around San Francisco with nothing but my legs and a map and I managed to see everything I want from Coit tower to Alcatraz to a Chinese Festival.

The Transition

You know that feeling I was telling you about? Well today I got to relive it all over again as we paid another visit to the magnificent Grand Canyon. A small group of us got up early and watched the sunrise. We sat in amazement as the golden sun gradually rose above the jagged rock face sending regal colours of red, yellow and orange through the sky. The dark outlines of the rock face, contrasted beautifully with the bright array of colours interspersed across the sky. For such an early time of the morning I couldn't have felt more alive. We even managed to spot some elk and two stellar blue J birds. After that we headed back to our hotel where I raced around like a maniac trying to locate some batteries for my upcoming helicopter ride through The Grand Canyon. When we arrived at the airport we were placed in our groups and taken to our helicopter. I was assigned a window seat in the back and was completely thrilled. The instant we left the ground we were filled with excitement. In unison we exclaimed "wow!" We then proceeded through the large forest and made our way to the Canyon. The transition from the forest to the Canyon was exhilarating. Yet again we all stared speechless at its sheer beauty. Most of the flight was silent as we each took in the spectacular view and attempted to capture the experience with videos and pictures.

When the helicopter ride finished, we walked back into the room, wide eyed and buzzing. It was then time to head to Las Vegas Nevada. Or should I say 'lost wages'. When we finally reached the welcome to Nevada sign, it was a hopeful symbol of how close we were to Vegas. I have now been two 18 of America's states and three of Canada's provinces.

On the way to Las Vegas we stopped at a beautiful little place by the Colorado river. When we turned off the main road we never imagined we would drive for about two miles through sheer mountain ranges. Just as we were about to give up we saw the glistening water in the distance and let out a mighty cheer. It was probably the coldest river I've ever swan in but its icy cold flow was a beautiful contrast to the scorching hot Arizonan sun. We then continued our journey to Las Vegas, driving past Lake Mead, the largest man made lake in the USA. 

When we arrived in Las Vegas I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculous amount of wedding chapels and more specifically the drive through wedding chapel. We settled into our hotel 'The Stratosphere' and at 6:30pm we made our way to the roof to watch the sunset over Vegas and see the lights. Being in the tallest building in Nevada (107 floors high) we could see the whole of Las Vegas right up to the mountains.

At 9:30pm the fun really began. We waited out the front for what we assumed would be your average black Limo but it was far from that. We watched as the longest limo I have ever seen rolled out the front. It was called 'The Batmobile'. As we saw it we chuckled to ourselves and said "Imagine if that was ours and Derick (our tour guide) just rolls down the window". Well we spoke to soon because at that very second Derick rolled down his window and we all screamed with delight. The limo ride was exhilarating. It was big enough for 30 people and we had it all to ourselves. We danced, we sang, we drank, we laughed and we had a whole lot of fun. I may or may not be married...

Viva Los Vegas!

That Feeling

Wow! How do you describe a day like today? I don't even know where to start but I guess like any story, I should start from the beginning. 

We started off the day bight and early in order to get to the Grand Canyon with plenty of time to spare. We drove along route 66, America's first cross country road. The route was a whole lot of nothing and yet, it was really something. However, suddenly there was a whole lot of traffic and we eventually came to a halt. We waited around for about an hour and a half and once we got through we saw the damage. It was absolutely shocking. Two cars were almost completely squashed. It must been a head on. There was helicopters, ambulances, cop cars, tow trucks and fire engines. I felt sick to the stomach as we drove by and couldn't help but thank God for keeping us safe.

After we got away from the crash we continued down route 66 where we stopped at an old place called Hackbury. It was really cool! It had heaps of old cars and the bathrooms were a laugh. The girls bathroom had two puppets just staring at you and the boys bathroom was completely covered with loads of dirty pictures. After that we stopped in Seligmen at a wacky burger joint and boy was it wacky. We all had a good laugh as they continued to fool us with practical jokes. Things like putting the door handle on the wrong side, giving us straw when we ask for a straw, pretending to squirt mustard on us, changing our names and changing the signs on the bathrooms. We then consumed some delicious burgers and got on the road and continued on to the Grand Canyon. When we arrived we were completely blown away. I wish someone captured the looks on our faces. Looks of utter amazement. All speechless. When I said that capturing a photo of the falls would do it no justice I never imagined the Grand Canyon would be even more.. well grand. I almost didn't take photos simply because I knew I just couldn't capture the moment but don't worry I still took photos anyway. I was trying to think of a word to describe the Canyon and all I could come up with was majestic. But then I realised there isn't one. Its about the moment. You will never truly see the Grand Canyon until you have experienced the smell, felt the fresh breeze, witnessed the array of contrasting colours and layered jagged edges, felt the hot sun beaming down, heard the sound of mother nature at its best, and experienced that feeling in your stomach as you stand right near the edge. Its sheer and pure beauty is overwhelming. It draws you in wide eyed and buzzing. From the moment you arrive your senses are overloaded and your filled with this feeling I can't quite explain. All I know is I hope everyone gets a chance to experience that feeling at least once in their life. 

In the Canyon we made our way to Yaki Point where Miki and I climbed and explored the magnificent look out and soon after we headed back to see the sunset. Worried we were going to miss out, we Sprinted back accidentally leaving Carol behind. We watched the sunset and it was absolutely breath taking, however we didn't have time to dwell on it as we now had to find Carol. The search had begun! I waited at the bus stop in case she showed up and before I knew it, it was cold, pitch black and the Canyon.. Completely isolated... Scared, I begun to look through my camera trying to remind myself that just a few minutes ago, the Canyon was a beautiful and accommodating place. At night however the Canyon is daunting and unpredictable. I was there for a good twenty minutes until the bus finally turned up again. They had found Carol, thank God!

I will never forget the beauty of the Grand Canyon. It's given me a new appreciation for life. Since I have been in America I have slowly discovered and unveiled a new sense of life. Each second is a gift and I never want to waste it. I want to make the most of life from now on and I vow to do just that.







I still haven't caught my breath and I hope I never do.

The hottest place on earth.

So since my last two entries were extremely long (can you blame me?) I decided to keep this one short and... uh short. Today we stopped in Death Valley, the lowest and driest location in North America and the hottest location in the world with the highest recorded temperature being 56.7°C. It was extremely hot and yet I couldn't help but yearn to explore the magnificent dried up, salt covered valley. When we left I suddenly realised I left my camera case behind and inside that case was my sisters camera. (I'm sorry Symon, I swear I have looked after it really well). When we went back to get the case it was no where to be seen. we then decided to go  to the visitors center to see if anyone had dropped it off. Freaking out I began to pray to God and beg him to please ensure that I get it back. Half an hour later we were still driving to the visitors center and I began to worry as I realised it would be a miracle if someone actually drove that far just to return a complete strangers belongings. Well Symon, thank God I got my miracle.. No really, thanks to Mrs. GODbold, my camera case and your camera are safe and sound... Again, I am so blessed..

After that, we headed towards Bakersfield and 5 hours later we are still in the van. I am going insane! I have named my pillow squishy and drawn a face on him. Need land now. Resisting urge to destroy van..

AHHHHH

Simply Fantastic

Today was simply fantastic. Once of the benefits of being in hotels is that you have so much more time and all the preparation feels so much more relaxed. We started the tour off by taking a look at Rodeo Drive, the posh street that featured in Pretty Woman. We didn’t spend a lot of time there because let’s be honest, who wants to spend a lot of time in a place they simply cannot afford. After Rodeo, we headed to Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills was exactly what I imagined. Everything was perfect. All the tree’s lined up perfectly, and were the perfect shade of green as was the grass which was perfect too. The houses were all humungous and each looked quite similar to the other. After Beverly Hills we went beyond the tree’s to Hollywood. I was able to see the Hollywood walk of fame and even managed to get a good photo of the Hollywood sign. We then headed to Santa Monica which was absolutely beautiful. We strolled along the beach, had some delicious Thai food and we were then ready for our next stop.. Yepp that’s right, the day goes on. Our next stop was Calico, a famous ghost town and it was phenomenal. It was so hot yet so beautiful. From the moment the tour guide said go, I practically sprinted up the mountain. The view was amazing and well worth it. Carol and I then payed $2 to do an old mining tour which really tied the bow on a fantastic day. We then headed to our Hotel in Laughlin called ‘The Golden Nugget’ where I saw wild racoons for the first time. I keep thinking it doesn’t get any better than this but it just keeps getting better.

Western Express Northbound

Today my tour begun and what a funny day it has been. I arrived at the ‘La Quenta’ where I met my roommate named Carol. Carol is in her 70’s and has an amazing ability to complain about absolutely everything! I quote, “Oh you hitchhikers, you pack so little because you look good in everything.”

Anyway Carol and I then made our way to the lobby for the welcome meeting. I explained to the tour guide what our trip was and he informed me that we were in the right place. Immediately I started to introduce myself to everyone and they were awesome. They were all so young and I got along with them really well. Until.. I was unformed that I was actually in the wrong group. Turns out that, that was the camping tour I originally wanted to go on but there was no more space. Sigh.. I then made my way over to my actual tour group.. About 80% of them couldn’t speak English and the rest were fairly old. I barely got a chance to introduce myself thought because the second I arrived we were in the van on our way to Venice Beach. Seeing Venice Beach got me excited for what was to come. It was the most beautiful sunset I had seen since I had been in America.. I can’t imagine what the Grand Canyon will be like!

 

Mutiny

Today was a very.. interesting day to say the least. I decided to do some shopping because I realised I'm in America and should probably be a normal girl for once and buy clothes. I Also decided I should see the new Batman movie and let's be honest, that's the real reason I went out. 

So the story begins Here. I arrived at the shops (probably a good place to start right?) and I walked into a store where I found myself being hit on by the shop keeper who made it very clear that he wanted to show me around LA. When I left that store I entered another where one of the workers said, "You have really pretty hair". When I responded with a, "Thank you" he picked up my accent and imposed "I would so move to Australia for you." Feeling both awkward and amused I left that store and made my way outside.. I entered into another store relieved to see a girl worker, made a quick purchase and then went outside. Assuming the coast was clear I started to walk and the next thing I knew, some guy was was tapping me on the shoulder, asking me my name and proposing that we should get to know each other. I then let him down gently by telling him that I was off to see a movie. After that I made my way to the ticket counter where the guy responded with, "Just one ticket?". I responded sharply with a "Yes" and he said "Well if I wasn't working I'd accompany you" and closed with a wink. By this stage I had begun to wonder if it was some practical joke. 4 guys in less than ten minutes? What is going on! 

After I purchased my ticket I went back outside as I still had a few minutes to spare. Of course yet another guy approached. He asked me if I liked hip hop and when I responded with a "No" he said, "Oh that's okay, I was going to ask if you wanted to buy my CD but you can just give me your number instead." By this point I was no longer amused  but rather frustrated. I then made my way to the movie and just happened to be the only person in the whole cinema. That was until half an hour later when a random guy came in and sat right behind me. Feeling scared, I shifted my body so I could see him in the corner of my eye just in case he tried something. Luckily he didn't try anything however he did disappear not long after. When the movie finished ( and it was a pretty dam good movie) I dropped my phone and out of no where, the same guy pops out and says "Looking for something". Yep this day couldn't have been any weirder.

Chapter three: The final Chapter

So today I embarked on the next chapter of my journey... The final chapter. Dun dun dun!

It feels so strange to say that after being here for so long. I must be getting used to traveling because the plane trip flew by so quickly. Hahah get it, flew by.. I'm so funny :P

When I think back on my trip I realise how blessed I have been. I always seem to meet people who really look out for me and help me in immeasurable ways. Whether it be Vanessa who helped me book my flights when my card wasn't working, Adam who stayed on the phone with me while I was lost in Anaheim late at night, the random stranger who bought me a meal on the plane or Maria who took me into her house and fed me every day, I have always had someone looking out for me. 

Again, I am extremely blessed.

Wicked

Its so surreal being in NY on the anniversary of September 11. As I was watching the memorial I felt very disheartened as young kids spoke gallantly about the parents they lost and parents trembled as they remembered their children. As Hannah and I walked through New York there was a definite tension over the whole city and a strong sense of heartbreak and loss. My thoughts go out to those who were affected.

The day seemed to carry on though as Hannah and I made our way through multiple tourist attractions and escaped the grasp of advertising people trying to interest us in their products. Around 6pm we headed to a Broadway restaurant for dinner and it was hilarious. When Hannah went to the bathroom two men started serenading me and proceeded sticking straws in my hair. It was extremely awkward but I couldn't help but laugh. We then received our meals and when we caught a glimpse of the time we freaked out. "Its almost time for wicked!" We grabbed our meals and sprinted for the theater and before we knew it we were there in the theater  It was simply phenomenal! The characters were so good especially Galinda or should I say 'Glinda.' Each scene continued to build growing more and more phenomenal each time. The characters had fantastic voices and it was inspirational to watch. I'm definitely going to see more shows from now on. It's so worth it!

Running a muck

Today started off as a very frustrating day. I tried to book my flight to LA but it just wasn't working and each time it failed the flight got fuller and fuller. Not happy Jan! Luckily for me, Vanessa my roommate helped me out and all was well. 

After that I said my final farewell to Vanessa and Indi then headed to Times Square where I was to meet Hannah and Maria. I told them to follow the sound of the angry protest and eventually we found each other. We then carried on like children for the rest of the day as we ran around causing trouble in both ToysR"us and the Disney store. When we were inside the Disney store the elevator stopped working meaning no one could get up. Before we knew it we were the only people in the whole store and boy did we make the most of it. We sang and danced to all our favourite Disney songs, got plenty of crazy photos and climbed the little towers. After we got kicked out we went to a famous Chinese restaurant called 'Wo Horp and it was absolutely delicious. I then closed the night by having a very long shower and I haven't felt that clean in so long.

Its so nice to be in an actual home again.

It doesn't get any better than this.

Today was probably one of the best days of my life. We started off the morning by heading down to the beach where we took loads of awesome photos. The water was so nice and I realised I was swimming in the Atlantic which I thought was pretty cool. We then headed to camp to get ready for whale watching. Woo!

It cost $40 and took an hour to reach the whales and I may or may not  have fallen asleep on the way but it was well worth it. It started off quiet as we all pointed to whales in the distance and tried to take photos but as the boat reached closer and closer the excitement grew. Kate begun to do whale calls and we laughed but I think they secretly worked. There was a whale in the distance that appeared to be waving us over. He was continuously lifting his fin in the air and slapping it in the water so we made our way over and the next thing we knew he was gone. We then searched the horizon for other whales and the next thing we knew, up popped the whale right in front of the boat. He swam right up to my side of the boat sprayed us and then swam right underneath us. It was such an amazing sight!

After that we saw two whales in the distance jumping out of the water. As we made our way towards them it became clear that it was a mother and baby. It was truly magnificent to watch two such amazing creatures in their natural environment. They carried on as if no one was watching and as if they didn't have a care in the world. As the giant mammals jumped put of the deep blue ocean it seemed like the world slowed down. They were so graceful and every tiny move looked deliberate and perfect. When they hit the water they hit it with a powerful force. You could hear the sound of the splash and see of from a mile away. It was truly breathtaking.

Unfortunately soon after we  had to head back to the dock. From there we headed to a place where we bought some lobsters , 2 dead and one alive of whom we named Laurence. We then headed back to camp where we had a feast. I'm talking fish, potatoes, rock melon salad and lobster. Talk about 5 star camping. We then tied the bow on a perfect day by sleeping outside under the stars and listening to the sound of the beach in the distance. It honestly doesn't get any better than that...

Or does it?

Next stop?

Today we crossed the border into Canada. I was so excited when I saw the flags and received a big blue stamp. That's right Symon, my passport is going to be sexy too! I have now officially been to two countries this year! 

The moment you arrive in Canada, you can see the mist from the Niagara falls as it fades into the extravagant blue sky and whispers "Welcome to Canada." After we settled into camp we went into Niagara where we took a ‘Maid of the Mist’ cruise. Unfortunately both my cameras died as I got on the boat but the beauty of Niagara isn’t something you can capture in a photo. You have to see it in person to really appreciate it.. If I could describe the falls in one word it would be sublime. Its fury undermines its beauty and vibrant atmosphere as the rushing water falls from 157 feet high. While on the boat we were completely soaked. I felt so alive yet so at peace. I know now that there is no way that this is my last trip. With a world full of so much beauty how can we be restricted to just one place? Yep that's right. I have officially been bitten by the travel bug. Next stop? .....

On top of the world

This morning I woke up to the sound of what I thought was The Niagara Falls collapsing on us.. Turns out it was just a train passing by. : / 

Anyway, today we went to Toronto where we saw Yonge street (the longest street in the world 1,896km long) and the CN tower. The CN tower had such an amazing view, I felt on top of the world, most probably because I practically was. The CN tower is Canada's largest building and used to be the largest in the world. It stands 1, 815 tall. In the CN tower we rode the glass elevator which was quite daunting and stood on glass flooring.  We also went on this ridiculously lame ride that we couldn't help but laugh about. After that, we headed back to our van where some of us wrote a lame rap to perform at the camp fire.

Boredom will make you do crazy things. 

Next stop, Algonquin.

Bear Country

Today we entered bear territory or more specifically, Allegheny.  The idea of this was quite daunting to all of us as the same question resounded through our minds.. "What do you do if you see a bear?" We set up camp and had to put every bit of food or scented substance we had, inside the trailer.. Including toothpaste. We then went for a swim in the lake, had a fire and I had s'mores for the second time. Finally it was time for bed and at one stage in the night we all woke up to the sound of growling but we never confirmed if it was a bear or not... I guess we will never know.

Washington DC

Today we spent the day in America's capital, Washington DC. We started off by visiting the white house and I snapped a picture of a guy who looks a lot like Obama, chilling at the front. We also visited the Vietnam War memorial which was very disheartening as there were so many names. Finally we visited the Holocaust Museum. Again, security was very intense. They made me take a sip of my water to test if it was safe. Once we got in, we were greeted at the elevator and then we begun. It was so eerie being in there. It's one thing to study it at school but it's another to see the belongings of those who were killed, see the beds that they were forced to sleep in and see the trains that they were transported on. We also listened to real accounts which was horrifying. It seems that a lot of countries have something that they're ashamed of, something dark that happened in the past and there always seems to be an underlying theme of racism involved. It seems crazy to me that Hitler managed to manipulate so many people into thinking that what they were doing was right. Seeing pictures of school children raising their arms makes me think of how susceptible we are. I thought about the whole Kony phase and about how quickly so many people jumped into the cause without first looking into it. Not that I am saying that the campaign was bad, but it just goes to show how easy it can be to employ a large number of people very quickly. 

Step into the future

So we had a semi-early start today.. We had to leave by 7:30am in order to have enough time to explore NYC. We took a cruise past the statue of of liberty which was fantastic and then we went to Times Square which was mind blowing. Now mind blowing isn't usually the word I would use for a city but in this case I will. Why? Because I felt like I took a step into the future! Everything was flashing including the NYPD sign.

Everywhere you looked there was bright colours, flashing lights and moving objects. It was so commercialised! I felt like I was going to see a flying car any second. We then went into 'Toys R us' and I immediately felt like a child again. They had a giant T-rex that moved and a giant barbie dream house. I was in paradise! 

After NY, we made our way to Pennsylvania where we saw the famous 'Liberty Bell'. Security was intense but it was a pretty amazing sight.. We then made our way to camp where for the first time ever, we set up our tents! It was a funny sight to see as 13 adults attempted to set up their own tents and yet failed miserably.. This is going to be an interesting trip.

Chapter 2: Hello America!

So, I finally made it to NYC.. Surprised? So am I! Once I got to the bus stop, I was nervous but ready. I pulled out my map and made my way to the subway where I caught the train to 103rd street. People were staring at me as I stumbled through NY with my giant bag in the extreme heat. So many people stopped to asked me if I was lost and then pointed me in the right direction. Others were just clapping and pointing towards the direction of the hostel. I began to feel like that girl from the AAMI add where everyone starts cheering for her and pointing to where she needed to go. 

Half an hour later, dripping with sweat I made it to my hotel by 5:55pm only to realise that the welcome meeting was at 6pm. When I first saw the group, I was nervous because they were all in couples, or what it seemed anyway. I soon then discovered 6 others who were traveling alone. We then commenced the meeting, introduced ourselves and for the first time ever, I felt young. I started to question what on earth I was doing on the other side of the world by myself. My bag was twice the size of every one else's and I was half the size of every one else. Then I thought, well I made it this far so I must be doing something right? Right!

 I can do this!

Beginning the next chapter

Today I got to try water skiing for the first time ever! It was an exciting yet nerve racking moment as I sat in the water waiting for the boat to go.. The first time I went, I landed flat on my face.. 5 goes later I manged to stand up!!!!.... For three seconds. It was still such an experience though. This is my last day and I have very mixed emotions. I'm so sad to say goodbye to Laura because she has been such a great friend. I'm nervous to start traveling and I'm missing home.. But most of all, I'm excited to begin the next chapter of my journey.. 

Time to explore and experience America first hand!

Ouchies!

Today Laura and I got our ears pierced... Ouchies!!

And that's all I have to say about that...


XD

Sweet Serenity

Today was pretty awesome! I was able to sleep in which felt amazing and then when I expected to wake up to campers, I woke up to a dog instead. I then finished my application for university which felt fantastic and that's when the fun really began. Laura and I made our way to what is called 'The Corey's'. It's basically a huge lake in the middle of a forest where you jump off rocks. It was absolutely stunning and a whole lot of fun... Laura and I then climbed this huge rock mountain and just sat there for probably half an hour looking out at the spectacular view. It was so peaceful up there.

8 weeks, 2 months and 4 sessions.

 

Today was difficult. I finished packing and said a very emotional goodbye to my girls.. Once they all left, we then began the challenging task of cleaning up the cabin.. 6 trash bags later, (I kid you not!) we were done! It was then time to say goodbye to the counselors.. This was the most difficult of all. These girls have been my family over the past two months and they have all been so amazing. They helped me to discover a side of me I never knew and they helped me to become a better person. The thought of possibly not seeing them again is eating me up inside. I have been really blessed to make such amazing friends. It has been a life changing summer and one I shall never forget.

 8 weeks, 2 months and 4 sessions. How do you describe a summer like that?

Final Day

So today was the last day of camp... :( We spent the day packing, moving heavy objects and saying our goodbyes. The final ceremony was one of joy and sadness. We were saddened as we listened to 'The Pinecone Song' be sung for the last time and we were filled with joy as they announced our cabin as honour cabin for fourth session. We then headed back to the cabin where we set the beds up so they were all combined and we had a "slumber party". It was so nice talking and bonding with my girls and I will miss them so much.. One of them told me that I was her role model and she will never forget me.. I now know why God called me to go to seniors and I am so thankful for it.

Hospital visit

So I spent today in the hospital.. Why you ask? Well, as I was going to the bathroom I somehow managed to stab a rusty nail into my knee that was sticking out from the door.. Despite the fact that I told the nurses I had, had a tetanus shot 5 years ago, they still made me go to the hospital just to be safe.... Four hours later, I was told I don't need a tetanus shot (surprise, surprise) and was prescribed with some anti-biotics that's affects were worse than the actual cut..

Tunnel Vision

Today we had to take down the equipment that we set up in the beginning of ropes. This involves climbing 60ft trees, with nothing but a rope attached to your waist that you use to clip on as you climb (otherwise known as lobster claws). This might sound pretty simple to you but there's a lot more to it then that. I had to take down the systems that had been up there for a year. So.. picture undoing a bolt that has been there through snow, heat, rain etc, only while you're 60ft in the air dangling from a tree.. Sounds fun hey? Well, as I climbed higher and higher, the staples that you use to put your feet on got further and further in the tree. Once I reached the system, the staples were practically non-existent meaning I had to use all my upper body strength to pull myself up to the highest staple and clip myself in. Once I did this, it took me about half an hour either side, to loosen the equipment. It gets worse.. One of the systems had been set up upside down (that's not dangerous, just a pain in the ass) which meant I had to get into the most awkward, uncomfortable position possible in order to get it loose. Anyway, after an hour and a half in the tree, I finally succeeded and returned to the ground only to realise both of my legs were bleeding from the pressure of the tree. Yep, not my cup of tea..

A Wonderful Day

Today was simply perfect! I spent the morning belaying my senior girls and I was so proud. Every single one of them had the will power to get across the element (which is very rare). I then got to sleep through the whole of rest hour and period four (which is also very, very rare!). After that my cabin and I had a car wash. We all attacked each other with soap and water and it was a really nice moment of cabin bonding. I really enjoy my senior girls. They are great company and really brighten my day. After that we had what is called "Desperado's" where a few counselors are selected (one of which was me), to go and hide in the bush while the whole of camp looks for them. An hour later, I was still running and hiding from kids as they made my capture points higher and higher. The moment they rang that bell, was a moment of victory as I revealed myself and the whole of camp cheered for me. I may have come out with a battle scar or two but it was well worth it. The other pirates and I were then forced to walk the plank, in other words, jump off the jetty. Yep, a wonderful day indeed!

Ropes 2K12: Hanging On The Edge

So I was thinking I should fill you in on what I do at ropes since it's where I spend half of my day. Ropes is more than just an activity. It's all about stepping out of your comfort zone, setting goals and working together. We equip the kids with skills that will help them for the rest of their lives; such as communication, responsibility, respect, trust, commitment and group work. How do we do this? Well it's all a process.

Phase 1: We start with what we call ‘Initiatives.’ This is a lesson that we plan ourselves, with a bunch of different 'games' that are designed to teach different lessons and equip them with valuable knowledge. An example of this is 'Helium Hoop.' The aim is to put their fingers on the hoop and as a group lower it to the ground. Seems simple enough right? But there's a catch. The hoop is so light that it always goes up instead of down. The group usually figures this out straight away only instead of trying to fix the problem they yell at each other and get frustrated. That's where we step in. We ask them what's working and what isn't and get them to devise a strategy. This pattern continues on until they learn to communicate effectively by talking to each other in a civilised manner and working together to get the hoop to the ground.

After a few of these activities we then move onto phase 2: Low Ropes

This phase is often rewarding but at times can be monotonous if the group is not working well together. An example of this is called 'The Nitro Swing.' The whole group has to swing across from one side to the other but if one person falls then the whole group goes back. This exercise develops trust and strategising skills. It takes the group a few times, but eventually they discover that they need to help each other to get across meaning that the girls who are swinging across need to trust that the other girls have their backs. Once you've done a few of these activities you 'Debrief'. This means you talk about the activities and what they learnt and how they could help them in life situations. This is when the group usually learns some very valuable lessons whether it be looking out for each other, watching what you say, not pointing fingers, trust and thinking outside of the box etc. 

Once they pass this level they can then move onto phase three: High Ropes.

This phase is the most strenuous on us. We arrive early to set up the equipment; we tie knots that are holding people’s lives and triple check everything. It's scary to know that one small mistake could be the end of a child's life. Once we are done setting up we then go over the rules and take our girls into the woods. The woods are where the real fun begins. The girls put their harnesses and helmets on and one by one you send each girl up. You start by checking their harnesses and helmets even though they have already been checked twice and then you begin the conversation. You ask them how they are feeling, what their name is and what their goal is. Some girls will be fine and will fly through the course but there will be plenty who are petrified. That's when it becomes strenuous. They will get two feet off the ladder and freeze. Your job then is to push them further. This process could go on for ages, meanwhile your belaying them which gets exhausting very quickly. There has been so many times that I have had to tell girls who are carrying on hysterically, to take a deep breath and trust that I have them. However that moment when the girl reaches the top of the tree and completes her goal is always one to remember. The smile that appears on their face is always almost as big as mine. There is nothing more satisfying than helping someone to step outside of their comfort zone and reach their goal. They realise that if they can achieve that, then they can do anything. If they can face that fear then they can face any fear. It is one of the most rewarding jobs a person could have. 

Loving life. 

Face Palm!

So a person legitimately asked me today if Tasmania is how we say hello in Australia. Then he followed that question by asking, what language do you speak in Australia?
Enough said....

This is my purpose.

So we are four days into the final session and I received my evaluation yesterday. I got all 5's and my division head told me that "I was made for this." Since then those words have resounded in my head and I have discovered something. I was made for this. This is my purpose. Young girls are my passion. I come back to my cabin every day and I am lifted up by their spirits. Each girl is so unique, so beautiful, but so vulnerable. I think about the things that I have endured in my life and I know for a fact now that I have endured them for a reason. The knowledge and lessons I have learned, I can pass down to these girls. I know that I can’t save them from the world but if these girls remember just one thing that I have taught them then that’s enough.

A typical day at Camp Bernie

Wake up at 7:45, drag yourself to flag, cabin count, raise the flag, Sue Marcou says “Good morning Camp Bernadette,” we reply “Good morning” in the most flat way possible, announcements, breakfast, cabin clean up (nag nag nag) activity periods 1-3, lunch time, mail, rest hour (nag nag nag) activity periods 4-5, free time, dinner time, free time, night activity, shrine, bed time (nag nag nag) and finally CANTEEN for some adult bonding. There are lines for everything including showers, toilets, food and swimming etc, zero privacy and grilled cheese is everyone's favourite meal. What does that tell you?

BUT as monotonous and miserable as that sounds, it’s far from that.  There's something magical about camp. I'm not held back or weighed down by my past and no one is trying to put me in a box and tell me who I am and who I'm not.     In the past I let people tell me what I was capable of but now I can decide for myself. I am slowly discovering a whole new side of me that I was always so afraid to show. I have no limits, no restrictions.  There's something about the atmosphere that I just can't put my finger on. I was always afraid of success because I knew that hatred and bitterness followed it but at camp, if you succeed, people are genuinely proud of you. I have formed so many beautiful friendships and memories and I know I have so many more to come. 

A week and a half left here at Camp Bernie.

Seniors

So for session four I have been moved to the senior division which means I am now working with 13 years olds as opposed to the 10/11 year olds I used to have. All I can say is it's so strange. They are so independent. They designate their own chores, clean up their dinner table all by themselves and basically do my job for me. I miss having girls who bombard me with questions and forget what personal space means.

I'm finding it really difficult to get into the swing of things.. The meal times, songs, bathrooms, division head, my co-counselor, my cabin, my area, the daily routine and the people are all different. After 2 months of constant repetition to the point where I could do it while sleeping, everything is all of a sudden different.

However, as tough as it has been I know that this happened for a reason and I cannot wait for the moment when I discover that reason.

New York

So as you are aware, three other staff members and I were chosen to go over to NY on the Garden City bus and supervise the campers who were returning home. The bus trip took about 6 hours all together and Hannah and I were on the mixed bus with Fatima and Bernadette which was rather interesting. Every now and then we would hear comments such as, "No I will not make out with you," and, "I'm going to kill your whole family", come from the back of the bus. However, lucky for them Hannah and I were able to entertain and distract them with our obnoxious singing and dancing. Unfortunately we could only distract them for so long and eventually the girls started to chant, "Who do we want to leave? Fatima! When do we want them to leave? Now!"

Boy were we glad to get off that bus, especially once we got to our hotel, 'The Marriott'. We were all originally in separate rooms however due to a stuff up in our reservations we were blessed with a suite and what a lovely suite it was. We had double beds, a wide screen TV, a fridge and a giant bathroom. It doesn't get any better than that!

We spent the night there in Hicksville and had a blast. I was with 3 other ropes staff members and we grew so much closer from it. 

Ropes Staff 2K12, Hanging On The Edge!

Red Sox!

We started the day off nice and early and caught a bus/subway into Boston. Once we arrived we were greeted with the beautiful sight of civilisation. We took a tour around Boston called ‘The Upper Deck’ which was simply fantastic. We were able to learn a lot about the history of Boston and really explore Boston. As part of the tour cost, we went on the duck tour which is a boat that can drive on land and in the water and it was so cool! We drove around the harbor and then straight back onto land where our tour bus was waiting for us. After that we visited Harvard Square/ Harvard University where I had my first really decent meal since I have been in America… Then it was finally time for the game!

 We had the perfect seats. It had the perfect view, we were surrounded by hotties, nice and close to the bathrooms and the food and I even got on the screen! The game was simply fantastic! It was The Red Sox verses The White Sox and The Red Sox were losing by one right up until the 9^th inning when Cody Ross hit three home runs and won the game.

Red Sox Win!

Luxury

Today marks the beginning of my 48 hour break and Amy and I are seeing a Red Sox game. At the moment we are in a very luxurious hotel in Bedford Boston and it is B-E-A-UTIFUL! It has two double beds, a massive shower, free wifi, a pool and free breakfast.

 Red Sox here we come!

Hybernation

Today the American Camp Association (ACA) visited Camp Bernadette in order to re-accredit us and it was stressful! My boss accidentally mixed the schedule up meaning that we set up the equipment thinking we had a group of girls when we didn’t. Due to that, we got into trouble for having the equipment set up while no one was in the woods and my boss was really upset with herself.

Not long after they left, it started to storm and we went into what is called hibernation. I have never seen anything like it. The water started to look like our beaches even though it was a lake, the whole cabin was shaking, water was leaking in and the sky was completely lit up by the lighting. All my girls were so scared so I got them all to come over and sit with me, and Susanna (our awesome CIT) played the guitar while we tried to out sing the storm. It’s crazy how quickly the weather changes here because 15 minutes later it was sunny again. They have a saying here, “Welcome to New England, don’t like the weather? Wait a minute.”

The Snowball Buisness

Today was another Bernie Fatima dance and sometimes I could swear that snow balling (getting the girls to dance with the boys) is like a business. One second your customers are loving your service because, “The boy was so cute” and the next you’re getting a thousand complaints because “His breath smelt!” In the end however they are all satisfied customers as they met, “The love of their life.” The awkward moment when I almost snowballed one of my girls with a counselor though. Hey it’s not my fault he was the same size as his campers and looked like one too. : /

Christmas in July

Christmas Eve: 14/7/12

Today was overall a pretty fantastic day. We have secret Santa’s and as part of my gift, I sent my old CIT Maria into EJ's room (the girl I have for secret Santa) singing isn’t she lovely and she loved it. We also had a staff banquet and as gifts all staff was given mugs and back packs that have our names on them. Then to tie the finishing ribbon on a fantastic day, we had hot chocolate and donunts. Doesn't get any better than that!

Christmas!: 15/7/12

Today is Christmas at Camp Bernadette and what a great Christmas it has been. I woke up early to put presents on the girls beds (koala teddy bears) and then we had cabin decorating and again our cabin won.

We then had a camp wide relay for which I was asked to belay for and grey team won!

After that we had a Christmas banquet and my secret Santa revealed herself to me and gave me my present which was a key ring, some Kit-Kats and a T-shirt. And finally we watched the CIT (counselor in training) play which was The Lion King and it was so good!

In short.. A fantastic Christmas day!

Free!

So tonight was my night off and a much needed one at that. Laura and I walked into town where we did laundry and then met up with Adam (the guy I met at Nikey) and Jess. It was such a fantastic night. We went mini golfing in Wolfeboro, had pizza and just talked on the docs for the rest of the night.

It's so beautiful here in New Hampshire. The weather is always amazing and it's always light up until around 7pm. I really am having the time of my life.

Drama

I can't believe how much has gone wrong this session already. Some of the counselors were almost fired due to an incident that took place over the weekend. Two campers forgot to flip their buddy tags after swimming causing a search and rescue that almost hospitalised two of the life guards. Over $500 has been stolen from the counselors and finally during the night a camper thought it would be funny to run around to the cabins while the counselors weren't there and threaten to kill the younger campers. Well it wasn't funny and half of the camp was crying hysterically with fear. To make things worse, I am currently alone because both of my co-counselors are on their day off.

Feeling like a single mother of 12 girls, waiting nervously for her partner to arrive.

Tongue Twisted Central

Today the new campers arrived and again, it was chaos! One by one the parents arrived with their huge trunks, each demanding something different. It feels so weird having new campers. They were so much quieter at first and more independent than our last group of girls……Buttt! As the day went on it was clear we were going to get along. They are crazy! They called me the “Wizard of AUS” because I’m Australian and they laugh at everything. It’s going to be really confusing with their names though. We have two Lauren’s, two Emma’s, two Jillian’s, a Katy and Caitlyn, a Carissa and Alyssa and a Macy and Jaymee. Welcome to tongue twisted central!

I am excited to get to know these girls and hopefully sew into their lives.

Farewell

Today was the last day with my first lot of girls. We had a banquet which I had to set up and I was so lost. I didn’t realise I was supposed to set up my own table only, so I helped everyone set up theirs. Well lucky for me 1 minute before my campers arrived everyone returned the favour and helped me set up my table.

After the banquet, we had cabin awards and guess what! Our cabin won honour cabin! Annnndd grey team won!

I am going to miss my girls so much. They always managed to cheer me up when I felt down. They all wrote me letters and one of my campers said that I was like the sister she never had and she would never forget me. I feel so blessed to have met them all and shared that experience with them.

Close Call

Today was my first day belaying girls on high ropes and just my luck, they were all twice the size of me! It was going really well until one of the girls fell off the wall and I went flying. Lucky for me, Cam grabbed me just before I hit the wall. I also had a huge stack that left me with a grazed side, leg and elbow. Luckily I had a night out which really cheered me up. Me and some of the girls drove to North Conway where I met a cute guy who works at Nikey and I gave him my number.

You're only in America once right?

BF Day

Today was a Bernie Fatima day and it was. .Let’s just say interesting. I sat by and watched as my girls freaked out about what to wear and how to do their hair and they all seemed to look to me for advice. I tied bows, plaited hair, the works!

When it came time for the dance, the girls and boys were on opposite sides of the dance floor and after tireless efforts of trying to integrate them we finally had what they call a “snowball.” You grab one of your girls and take them over to a boy and they have to dance together. The first time this happened the girls ran off and hid from me. By the third time this, they were all lining up. I have to admit, it was really cute watching my girls dance with the boys. One of the boys made sure he had a full conversation with my girl and knew her name before he danced with her.

After the dance we had fireworks to celebrate the 4^th of July even though it was the 1^st of July. It was so peaceful just to sit there and watch the majestic colours appear in the sky.